The Sperm Theory

I was having coffee one late afternoon with friends when our conversation came to relationships. Cognizant of the alarming rise in the incidence of divorce and last minute cancellations of seemingly perfect engagements, the question on what really makes a relationship work came forth.

"Everybody has a theory but nobody really knows for certain." I said, "Some would say, for example, that if you love someone, set her free. Others would say, to hang on. Now, who is right?"

DC, who is a contented husband and proud father agreed. "I think you have to know what matters most when choosing a lifetime partner. Physical attraction is fleeting. When beauty fades, and it will, because everybody gets old, what remains is your ability to talk and listen to each other."

Ahh. Go for the content not the package. 

CA, who is a gratified single lady butted in : "BUT if you are given the choice between someone who is unattractive but with a nice personality VERSUS someone, who has both, beauty and personality, you should go for the latter."

Ahh. Aim for the moon. Miss it and you still get the star!

"The competition will be stiff...very stiff if you go for that goal." I said. 

"BUT if you are chosen, you get the BEST prize!"

Ahh. The Sperm Theory!

"Sperm Theory?" DC asked.

During the process of fertilization, millions of sperms vie for one egg. Only one sperm gets the egg. The remaining are doomed to death. Even if the odds are slim, and death awaits those who fail, the sperms battle to become THE sperm. Being  the chosen one over millions is the ultimate prize for the sperm's ego!

Was it FATE or EFFORT that determined which sperm gets the egg?

Was the sperm DESTINED to fertilize the egg or did the sperm make it because of sheer skill, perseverance and perfect timing, lording it over the rest of the sperms?

If relationships are established by fate, two individuals destined to be together will find each other no matter how long, strenuous, crooked or steep the path is. To believe in fate is to recognize the existence of a "soulmate". Since the soul never ages, never wanes and fades, is the key to long lasting relationships then the finding of that one soul that your soul perfectly connects with?

Is the best recourse to wait until your "soulmate" finds you or until the "soulmate" you found realizes you are his/her? Is having FAITH in FATE the best strategy?

What if a sperm, not intended to be the "chosen" one, is willing to go up against the odds and with talent, determination, good planning and perseverance prevailed over insurmountable difficulties to reach that one egg BEFORE the chosen sperm, is the union sentenced to failure?

Indeed when it comes to relationships, theories abound about how things should be. Probably in the scheme of things, be it about relationships or not, our fate is determined by our effort... our destiny by our determination to make things the way it should be... including ending up with the person perfect for us.

When it comes to what makes a relationship last, John Legend summarizes it all...

" Everybody knows but nobody really knows..."

"Cause everybody knows, that nobody really knows..."