Eulogy For Daddy

Daddy s body lies in front of us. We will never again hear his voice, his laughter, nor feel his touch because his connection to our physical world has been permanently cut off.  But he will always be remembered because each of us has been touched by him either directly or indirectly.   As long as our memories remain, He will live on... through our stories about him, both from our actual interaction with him and from what we heard about him.  

Daddy has been with me all my life but I have been in less than half of his and it’s the stories I’ve heard from other people that helped complete the picture of the man whom I only knew as my father.

In his 84 plus years, he did play several roles which defined our individual memories of him. To those who knew him as the head of register of deeds, he was a strict, straight forward and incorruptible man. In politics, he’s remembered as an eloquent speaker with a good grasp of the visayan language and a baritone voice who would belt out a song at a mere request. To his students, he was a teacher with a good sense of humor. His class was always packed, as I was told.  

But no one can truly claim to know daddy, not even us who have spent all our lives with him.  .  Only God has been there from his first breath up to his last and only He truly knows what was in his heart,  Given this limitation, it is forthcoming that if at a certain point he may have hurt you, please forgive him for he’ll never intentionally hurt anyone. Likewise, if you feel you have hurt him, know that he has forgiven you, for he was one who doesn't harbor anger or hate against anyone.  If there was something to be said about his dealings, both personal and professional, it is this, his decision is always for reconciliation and for what he believed was fair.

For us who lived with him, perhaps the best way to summarize him is that he was a man who devoted his life for his family. He could have followed his dreams in politics but he knew that this path will not offer a life of stability for us. And indeed, that was the life he gave us. A stable life. He provided what we needed not what we wanted so if he can find a way to repair what can still be used, he would. He never ran out of rugby adhesive glue, or threads or nails or shoe tacks. Even in my adult life, he repaired my damaged shoes. Daddy labeled everything either with a pentel pen or his favorite white eraser ink.  The window handle of our old volkswagen had "TURN this way" written on it which was embarassing and amusing at the same time. 

Daddy taught us the value of honesty and hard work and gave us the freedom to carve our own paths based on our personal convictions, regardless of whether he agreed on these. He was strict as a father most especially when it comes to finding boyfriends or girlfriends. It was only when I was already practicing that he would mention to me about getting married. He'd tell me I should find a partner to grow old with,  but he stopped mentioning this a few years ago. I never really got the chance to ask him why. I just assumed he gave up on my case.  

Although his favorite song was “Matud Nila”, daddy made sure his story will not be solely from our memories of him. He left us with a photojournal chronicling his life in vivid pictures which he kept through the years and though I wont be able to show this, I just want to quote some of the things he wrote. The pages were revealed the thoughts of the man as he saw himself.

Dec 10 2007: When one like me reaches the age of 70 yo. He has the time to recall the long past years. He lift the pages of the book of pictures. He remembers and see many of his old friends long gone. As he went around the familiar places and facesa are now gone. He felt lonely of past days when he was younger and stronger.

This book of pictures portrays the life of a man like me. For some this may not have a meaning at all, but for me, it was an adventure of a man and reaches the stars he dreams.

July 3, 2008: I am now almost 80 yo. These faded photos may not mean anything to you but for me, it’s a million moments of tears and happy experiences. On God s will now I am old and retired from government service and as a part time instructor at Silliman university. Hopefully, I wish that these book of pictures be remembered as a story of a barrio lad who became as he was, on God’s will.

January 10, 2009: Young as you are now, you don’t care abouth the past. You focus only to the future, the unknown. You are the now but no escape, for you are the past…a part of you. Take care of all these records or photos for it ia a part of you. We gave you your life…so you are a part of past. I am now 80 and linda almost 70 yo. Now and then we remember nanay and tatay, papa pentong ana mama tikay, all dead! Yes they all came and gone…now. Someday we will also be gone, perhaps forgotten. Yes our days has also laughter and tear.. like yours now! Then silence…think about it.

Daddy recognized the cycle of life. He knew that the tolling of the bells when someone dies is not for the dead but for those who are alive to remind us of our own mortality.

Daddy will never be with us anymore physically and we mourn the physical passing. But by faith, we know that he is a spirit no longer bound by the aging body,  or by emotions and thought. By faith we know he is in a far better place than we are right now.

Lastly, in behalf of the family, thank you so much for your presence. We are grateful to daddy for having lived a life well because people came and your presence made it lighter for us to bear his passing. Thank you for caring and knowing that it is not the dead who needs comforting but us, the living. 

For those have never talked to him or even laid eyes on him while was still alive, but are here to sympathize with us, I am glad I got to share a little of who he was.  He is a part of US, whom you know.